Tonight, a deeply personal story I’ve carried for over a decade will be shared publicly for the first time.
It’s hard to express what this moment means to me. For years, I guarded this part of my life as if my survival depended on it. For a while, it did.
But this evening, with the help of the incredible team at 9News, I’m finally stepping forward to share the truth I’ve kept hidden—and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
This story is not about being a victim. It’s about survival, resilience, and the fight to move forward. It’s about being brave enough to ask for help.
In 2007, I shed my anonymity and became an advocate for crime victims, stepping into the public eye as a survivor of a violent assault. I shared my name and my face to illuminate experiences of survivors like me. At the time, I thought I’d already lived through the worst thing I’d ever be forced to endure. But what I didn’t realize, was that not all rapists break in through your living room window and hold you captive in your own bedroom as they strip you of your dignity. It’s not the monsters under the bed I should have feared. Sometimes, the real monster is the one who shares your bed with you.
Intimate partner rape is unacceptable, and yet, it remains an under-recognized crime in too many parts of the world. Even here in the US, women are still widely-viewed as “property”. Hell, I’ve even been referred to—on court record—as a “Corvette that everyone wanted to drive, but [my abuser] was holding the keys”.
Change is happening. Survivors like Gisèle Pelicot in France, who is bravely fighting to ensure spousal rape is no longer normalized or excused helped ignite a worldwide shift in how these crimes are understood. Their voices and courage are a reminder that shame should never rest on survivors’ shoulders—it belongs to the abuser alone.
That’s what this moment is about. It’s time for shame to shift sides.
For years, I endured in silence, convincing myself that I was protecting those I loved. But I wasn’t protecting myself. Even as I studied vicarious trauma and built a career advocating for others, I struggled to apply those same lessons to my own life.
11 years after not being able to publish my thesis, “Law Enforcement Stress: How Police Officers Experience Vicarious Trauma Through Witnessing Victimization” I abandoned my otherwise-completed studies at the University of Northern Colorado. I had finished more than the required number of credits. I had created and ran an entire criminal justice program in fulfillment of the capstone option. I had north of $70,000 in student loans to repay. Still, I did not finish.
But when the new Title IX regulations were announced, I reached out to UNC’s Title IX Office of Equity and Compliance to ask for help. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was ready to start completely over on my studies if I had to. I feared judgment, rejection, or worse—confirmation that my story wasn’t worth telling. Instead, I was met with compassion, resources, and an unwavering commitment to help me reclaim what I had lost.
This December, I’ll stand on stage as a graduate and address the class of 2024 as their commencement speaker, holding a diploma that represents so much more than my academic achievement. To me, it’s a symbol of the courage it took to ask for help and the resilience it took to keep going.
To Kelly, Anne, Kyle, and the team at 9News—thank you for telling this story with care and integrity.
To Tiffany, Brian, and everyone at UNC—thank you for advocating for me.
And to Michael, my parents, my children, and all my family & friends—thank you for always believing in me when I struggled to believe in myself. I’m still here because of you.
To every person reading this, especially those who may see parts of themselves in my journey: Please know that you are not alone. Intimate partner violence and rape is a violation of trust, autonomy, and humanity. You deserve support. You deserve healing. And you deserve a life free from violence.
If you’re in Colorado, tune in to NEXT with Kyle Clark on Channel 9 at 6 PM MST to hear this chapter of my story.
With all my heart,
Kimberly Corban Rourke, M.A.
