I heard this catchy little tune come across my FYP on TikTok, as is the way many discover most new music anymore (shoutout to Limewire, we will never forget our real “viral” roots…nor will our family computers). When it came up again only a couple of minutes later, I didn’t scroll past. I dove down the rabbit hole of videos created by many accounts using the same song.
30 seconds of “Labour” by Paris Palomoa were released ahead of the full song on the artist’s TikTok channel. Many women were leaping at the clip and using it as a backdrop for reasons to break toxic cycles and illustrate why we all need feminism. It’s funny, I used to think feminism was a dirty word until I realized it doesn’t have anything to do with men. It has to do with equalizing the systems societies rely upon to keep men in positions of power over women, persons of color, LGBTQ+, and other marginalized communities. Men themselves can be wonderful–case in point, my husband Michael–but patriarchal systems benefits no one, and I’m tired of calling it anything but exactly that.
Back to this song–the more I listened, the more the message took root in my brain. The lyrics stirred something buried inside of me, reigniting a fire I’ve had to rely upon for warmth throughout the course of my life more times than I can count. Some may call that fire vengeance, even trying to paint me and others like me as the villains in their pathetic little existence, one entirely of their own making.
But I prefer to think of this fire as a reminder; a blaze impossible to extinguish, fanned by the unbridled power I have at my center. The courage to call upon that power is exactly what we are socialized as women–and as victims of crime–to veil, lest we make those who have caused us harm uncomfortable.
I opened up my MacBook and cut together the memories I’ve endured, and later chose to create in the face of violence. When I hit “publish” I was proud of the content and that could have been that. But I quickly found out many new individuals were served this rallying cry of mine, some in moments where they needed it most. The comments came in, and I was gratefully humbled:
“Survivor at 15, have been of multiple accounts since the early age of 4. I’m healing that all, all those people throughout the years, cause it’s not their life. It’s mine ❤️”
“thank you for speaking out, especially for those of us (myself included) who never could💜”
“for the people fighting. thank you. i promise you you’re helping us who can’t do anything”
“I’m a sexual abuse survivor. it took 9 months and multiple abusers before i finally got out. You are an absolute queen. keep this up. i’m so so incredibly happy rn. tdys been a ptsd ridden day and this popped up on my fyp and just. it made me so happy. thank you for being a voice for those who can’t speak.”
“We are stronger together ❤️ but we first need to find strength in ourselves. Stay strong sisters”
“Thank you for continuing to speak up for those of us whose bodies still feel like the crime scenes we never should’ve had to clean up. 🙌🙌❤️❤️”
For me personally, this upcoming week is going to be a battle on many fronts. And while I didn’t have the words at the time I posted my reel on Instagram, Paloma’s full version has now been released, gifting me a verse that made me weep for who I used to be and what I was forced to do:
Apologies from my tongue
Never yours
Busy lapping from a flowing cup
And stabbing with your fork
I know you’re a smart man (I know you’re a smart man)
And weaponise
The false incompetence
It’s dominance under guise
If we had a daughter
I’d watch and could not save her
The emotional torture
From the head of your high table
She’d do what you taught her
She’d meet the same cruel fate
So now I’ve gotta run
So I can undo this mistake
At least I’ve gotta try
Oof. Right in my feels.
But I’m ready. I’m armed for battle. And I’m cloaked in the radical knowledge that justice prevails, and we’re on the right side of this fight.
So now we have a message for those who have chosen to harm us:
Your crimes are not our burdens to carry.
We are finished doing your labor.
Beware what you force us to do.
You may not like who we choose to become.
So now we have a message for those who have chosen to harm us:
